Hellbent by Cherie Priest

Hellbent by Cherie PriestHellbent by Cherie Priest
Narrator: Natalie Ross
Series: Cheshire Red #2
Published by Brilliance Audio on 8/30/11
Genres: Urban Fantasy

Book: B+
Narration: A-

So the other night Raylene Pendle was telling me this story… What’s that? That was an audiobook? Someone named Natalie Ross narrated it? Nope. Sorry. You’ve got it all wrong. I don’t know where you’re getting your information but that was Raylene telling me the story of her adventures. I don’t know who this Ross person is. So as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted….

Raylene and I are friends, you see. She confides all the sordid details of her life to me and I listen and nod and often snort whatever I’m drinking out my nose. She’s a vampire and a famous (or is that infamous?) sneak-thief. The funniest things happen to her! We were up half the night yesterday while she told me all about this really weird job she took on. You see, she was hired to steal some baculum (yeah, you’re going to have to consult the Oracle at Google for that one just like I did: I don’t want to kick off any more jokes about it than I’ve already heard from Raylene – she’s got a bit of a dirty mouth, you know.  Oh, but wait until you’re not at work to do it, ‘k?). Anywho… she’s usually pretty tight-lipped about her jobs but get a single glass of wine in her and you don’t have to tip her ‘cause she’ll spill. Oh, don’t worry if you are thinking of hiring her; she has some discretion about her work because she obviously changed names and locations and has never really been to the area she said her last job was in. I can tell because of how she pronounces Willamette.

So like I was saying… she was almost blown up while on this job and when she got home her roommate, Ian, had just found out his patriarch… oh, yeah, Ian’s a vampire too… had died and Ian was suddenly in line to take his place. Only, that’s a bad idea because Ian is blind. So Raylene took off for California to sort things out for him and her pal Adrian (he’s an ex-Navy SEAL/current drag-queen) went too. Then there was this crazy sorceress who wanted the baculum for herself and so Raylene had to deal with that also. Well, you’ll just have to get her to tell you the whole story herself. I can’t do it justice at all.

Seriously, you should hear her when she talks about the people she meets. She’s quite the impressionist. You’d think you were listening to a whole other person… or people. She’s such an amazing storyteller; before I knew it half the night was gone and let me tell you, the double entendres were just fa-LY-ing (as someone I know says). That Raylene, she’s such a kick and let me tell you, she gets off some snarky zingers. She’s really smart too although when she first started telling me this story her humor was a little… well…I thought I was back in sixth grade again. I’m not usually much of a fan of that kind of humor but when Raylene laughs you just can’t help but laugh too. Now I need to go find some aspirin and a glass of water but gosh, I hope she stops by again soon. I can’t wait to find out what happens to her next.

What?! Would you please stop interrupting me?! What do you mean ‘Cherie Priest wrote that story about Raylene’? Whatever. I don’t know who this Cherie Priest is or … what was her name? Natalie Ross? but if they can tell a story half as good as Raylene can then they should… I don’t know… write books or narrate audiobooks or something.